Refusal

Okay, so in my typical self I refuse to let life circumstances get me down. Things are in turmoil right now but I refuse to let this depression get me down long term. Each day at a time, right?

Blogging

So it's been almost a month since I have posted. Wow! So much has gone on this past month that I can't believe it's been that long. I have stopped by and read my friends posts; but honestly I haven't had the energy to write. And in this blogger universe I don't know many of you personally but writing about the changes which have happened most recently just make them more real.

My husband and I separated. In fact I spent part of my weekend painting and moving a few personal belongings in to my new space. I haven't told but one person in my life about this because talking about it makes it real. And having it real makes it hurt even more. I should clarify that we're doing this in an attempt to salvage our marriage and believe me I want this more than anything. I love him so much.

I initiated the separation because within the marriage I don't feel like either of us are trying as hard as we should and I can't continue living like that. I feel so lost myself I'm not real sure my expectations of him are very fair at this point. I also feel both of us have stopped treating one another fairly and with respect; because we both harbor so much anger at one another and frustration in the situation.

Anyway, that's what I did this weekend and that is why I have been MIA on blogging. I just don't want to write about it because it's already something I constantly think about.